Nineteenth: Ten years and counting...

I love how I can always open up to my best friend of ten years. We were in our first year in high school then. Even before we reached high school, we were also good friends in elementary. We used to eat lunch together and spend after-school hours eating green mangoes dipped in salt and fish paste. We talked about a lot of things-- exams, teachers we favor, etc. We never really talked about the future, that being vague and far. Future meant tomorrow and where we were going to have our lunch.

Our friendship, for the last six years, is virtual-based, except for the times that I get to go home to our hometown during summer and holidays. We try to catch up with each other on days that we're both free. We still talk about a lot of things, mostly the funny ones that we end up crying because our tummies ache and our jaws are hurting. So you see, it is stronger than ever.

My best friend, Sandra Mae (or MY BB), is a witty, downright funny, and humble person. She's wise beyond her years. She always has a smart proposition for most situations. She loves my family like her own. She cares for every person she knows, even those that intentionally hurt her. Most of my friends can go against me, but I know she never will. EVER. And this is just the kind of friend I need. 

Now that we're all grown up, we talk about the future. Future still means tomorrow, but with a serious tone. I would love to, one day, travel with her. Just the two of us, lost in the suburb of an unfamiliar town, trying to find our way. We'll take pleasure in a culture so unique we'd never want to leave. And as I celebrate another year of friendship with one of the selfless women I know, I wish her happiness and success, because truly, she just deserves all these. So internet, next time you want to screw the only time we chat in a period so long, please let it be some other time.

I love you, BB! Here's to favors I ask from you that you unselfishly do and to MORE fun times for friendship's sake! <3

P.S. As I write, we're eating virtual cake! Bet you wish you had this sweet of a friend! :"> 

Our MUST have: Myrna's cake & pastries.

The other man in her life, Jeffrey.  Look at that glow in her face! :">

Hello, best bud!! Remember this day? ;)

Eighteenth: Mapped out

When we have a confidante, the weight we carry seems lighter and the world we live in is brighter. Tonight, I just had a long talk with my Mama-- my friend and confidante. There are a number of questions in my mind that I would like to be answered. My mother knows these questions without me telling. I think that's just the kind of friend everyone needs.

I stare at the computer, at loss for words. There are lots of things, mostly bothersome, going through my mind. I don't even know how to categorize every single one. It's tiring to be always on a lookout for answers or solutions. I wouldn't even want to give myself that kind of stress. After graduation, the future was bleak. I didn't know what to do. Every opportunity I had at practicing my profession was shunned. I couldn't make up my mind. And during all these times, my mother was there to help me out. She wanted to help by letting me understand that, eventually, I will have to do it myself. Her presence was not domineering. If any, it was all but imposing. She helped and she chose to do it subtly.

After two years, I don't claim knowing the answers. It would take time. But, I would like to think I've got some issues settled and most plans mapped out. Things are sure looking clearer. Mama said: "The world is big and the chances for advancement coming your way are there for you to own, experience, and celebrate." I will venture in the hopes of being able to grow personally and professionally. I have dreams and I will definitely go after them. There is no stopping me. :)

Seventeenth: Think big, dream big.

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great. When you are seeking to bring big plans to fruition, it is important with whom you regularly associate. Hang out with friends who are like-minded and who are also designing purpose-filled lives. Similarly, be that kind of a friend for your friends." 

-Mark Twain

Sixteenth: Enough is enough.

What is it with people and bragging about even the shallowest of things? Seriously, enough with the bragging! There's a fine line between being thankful for all the things you have and showing off. The line is so thin you wouldn't even know you're doing the latter. But obviously, with the gift of intellect, you should know.

All these incessant self-conceited talks I hear from people (and don't even get me started about boasting their owning of almost, if not all, material things) are bugging even the inner recesses of my brain. If you have them all, then lucky you. Now, keep your mouth shut. Please! It's irritating!

*Because people are, in every right, entitled to boast, then it's safe to say I'm also allowed to rant! Goodness!

Fifteenth: Title-less

I just watched this movie last night with my sisters and a good friend. We basically shared the same thoughts on RAPE. I would personally feel violated, used, maltreated and more if I had been raped, more so with GANG-RAPED. I would never know what to do if I will be faced with this situation. I would definitely plead until I bleed just so they will spare me. If I cry loud enough, someone would probably hear me. If I run fast, not stopping for a second to catch my breath, maybe I would lose them. If I pray harder, would I still be spared?

Many women from different nations from across the world had been raped; some chose to live in silence, others had their plight voiced out. There were a number of instances that these women bore a child; quite a number chose to have it aborted, others chose to keep it. I would never know what to do exactly. I could never even question their decisions. I think I would have the baby aborted-- I never wanted it in the first place. It would be a bitter and unwanted remembrance of a tragic past. I would never want to place the child in a room of too much agonizing resentment. I would also like people to know, not to be looked down on or pitied upon, but for the vicious cycle to stop. When women opt to remain silent, this would only make the rapist/s victorious. Every woman in this predicament deserves a justice served swift. It is in this trying time that a woman's strength and resilience are tested.

And for all perverted men, there is NO NEED to prove or validate your inadequate and incompetent existence by pushing yourself into a woman's. We already know that. KEEP IT TO YOURSELF. Do away from being blinded with temporary and bodily pleasure.

For every woman who has been a victim of rape, I feel you and there is absolutely NO reason to feel shame.

Fourteenth: Life is a blur.

There's something about blurry photos that still make me like them. I do not cringe at their sight, as most people do. I think they're still pretty in their own right.

Life is as is with blurred photos. I never know what will happen next. Sometimes, it gets me. Most times, it surprises me. For the only good way to live life is to embrace it-- no matter the obscurity.

Thirteenth: Random

Feb 20th

I took a snapshot from my bedroom's window. It was undeniably round, huge and very bright.

Feb 20th

This is really nice! That's my nephew with his mom.

Twelfth: Of rainbows and white birds

Yesterday, I went to attend the burial of my close friend's brother. He was a fine young man, who died of cardiac arrest. Apparently, he's had it in him since he was an infant and only manifested some symptoms during the last year of his life. He chose to keep it to himself. His family never had the slightest clue. I am sure he didn't want to get anyone worried or upset. I think he was kind like that.

His loss was all too sudden. My friend and her family thought there was still something they could have done to prevent his untimely death. I personally couldn't believe he was really gone. I just had a short talk and laugh with him few weeks before his death. He was jolly, but he sure did put on some weight (which was a preemptive sign according to his physician). I've only had a number of encounter with him. They were all brief, but he always managed to make me laugh because of his quirky personality. His sisters were exactly like him--- bubbly and amusing.

He left behind his family-- parents, sisters, two children and a girl friend. I wish I could look into his three-year-old son's mind. I don't know what he was thinking, I'm not even sure he's aware of the fact that his father is physically gone. What I'm sure of is that EVERYTHING HAS A REASON AND A PURPOSE that we may not understand or comprehend at the moment. He may have departed but he also left behind two bundles of joy. People say that he was too young to raise a family. He was only 17 or 18 then when he had his first child. If his family had known he'd be gone this early, I'm sure they would have wanted him to have more children.

During the course of his burial, when we walked from the church to the cemetery, there were a number of circumstances that say he's now with Jesus. There was a rainbow (and it didn't rain beforehand) and a flock of white birds hovering above us. I believe he's trying to convey the message that he is happy where he is. It's also a good thing that his family has already learned to accept his death, so he may fully be at peace. 

Death is sure inevitable and it will happen no matter how hard we try to stop it. The priest says that when it comes, we must be ready to face our creator and ultimate judge. 

Thank you Wynell for giving me the opportunity to know you. May you rest in eternal peace. 

Eleventh: Canvass

Whenever my mom is in town, it is without fail that we visit Sibonga, located in the southern part of the Cebu province. My mom, most especially, is a staunch supporter and believer of the miraculous deeds of our Virgin Mary of Simala. During most of our visits to the Lady, I am always the one driving. My FAVORITE part is looking at the heavens, struck with awe at the clouds' formation. If only I could stare at them for the rest of our trip. Mama would always reprimand me for staring too long as this could lead to an accident. Guilty as charged! Clouds, you always take my breath away! And, I mean always! :)

The Monastery of the Holy Eucharist, for all the Marian devotees.

No place is too far for a miracle and reaffirmation of one's faith.

                      

Below are some other shots of cloud formation that I've taken.

The color combination is amazing! This was taken around 5:30 PM.

His unobstructed view...

This does not really give justice to what I've seen...

It's like a canvass of different colors...

Tenth: A letter to my best friend

Midnight comes and I say a happy happy birthday to one of my best friends, Anne Grace.

I call her Labs, and that's what she'll always be. We go a long way and it wasn't always a smooth ride. But for most things, Anne is a great friend. Period. No gray areas. When we were in our freshman year, she would always call me to sit beside her. I hardly talked to anyone, seeing as I just transferred to a new section, but she made things a little comfortable for me. That's just ONE of the MANY things Anne has done for me.

Fast forward to our sophomore year, we were already starting to be comfortable with each other. We were seatmates for most of our classes. I remember her coming very early for our major class and she'd shout my name for coming a little later. We studied together and threw questions at each other. I cannot really remember how we became very close, but it was that fateful day when she cried and came to me for help and comfort. That was the start. It broke my heart that some people would actually want to hurt her. (Closed book)

From then and now, we were inseparable. We eyed for the same guy and started scribbling his name on a number of the blank pages in our notes. We used to eat together. If she decides to skip our fifteen-minute break, I'd do the same thing (vice versa). We also shared the same ideas on most issues. We text nonstop. We were giddy when we knew we're going to be dutymates. I could go on, but I'd stop here. 

We've also had our fair share of misunderstandings, as most friends do. Little did I know that the lack of time for each other and inconstancy would take a toll on our friendship. I've unintentionally and unknowingly hurt her several times with my actions. I make amends and try not to do the same things again. Whenever disagreement happens, I hold on to the faith in our friendship that it shall also pass. What we have and had and how we are and were can NEVER EVER be defined and equated with some mere tiffs. 

As she turns a year younger today, I would just like to tell her that I am very thankful to have her in my life. She is a lifesaver, a sunshine and a blessing. Let it be known that she is loved and liked by many-- her family, friends, and acquaintances among others. She deserves every good things that are coming her way. 

So bask under the sun, frolic in the sand, eat a hearty meal, laugh a good resounding laugh, belt a few tunes, and be merry for you RIGHTFULLY deserve all these! Happy happy birthday and I love you so much! <3

Fog + heavy rain

“Good friends are like stars.... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there”

Anne was able to capture 'discreetly' a number of shots of cute men! Always a highlight! :)

Ninth: Spare time

My last post was a hurried one. I felt I had to share shots that boast the beauty of the clouds. That was five days ago. I've never really had the time to write because my schedule doesn't permit me to do so. I've been trying to sleep early in the hopes of not falling asleep in the middle of our long nursing-and-patient-related discussions.

Today, I have all the time to write, browse the web, send e-mails, and the like. This doesn't happen all the time, so I'm putting to good use my non-working days.

What has happened:

So, yes, it was the Heart's Day last Monday. Every couple I know were gushing and happily talking about their plans for the evening. Every people on the street were either hopping from one place to the other with huge bouquet (others had a single long-stemmed rose) in tow or bearing irritated faces because the traffic was heavy.

I always have dinner with my sisters and nephew during this time of the year. My sister's boyfriend, along with his friends, serenaded her with Bruno Mar's Just The Way You Are (if my memory serves me right). Our balcony was lit by a single fluorescent bulb so it was a very conducive place for a mushy surprise, with candles from the cake also doing the trick. I think it was a sweet gesture. I know one doesn't need a special occasion to do this but just this one time, let's not be cynical.

I also had my much-anticipated dinner with my college friends. We met right after work. I'm thankful most of the girls came in early. I was forced to still not call it a night by 9 PM. They had other plan and I was part of it. To cut the story short, I went home past midnight. It's late for someone who still has to wake up early for work the next day. I didn't regret any of it because we hardly see each other. :)

All other days this week and the last were all about going to the hospital early and then going home beyond the time we were supposed to. Yes, I complain and rant because it takes a great effort to drag myself out of the bed BUT I realized it's an even greater effort for the lecturers. All we did were sat and listened, while they did all the talking and standing. I take all my complaints back.

Seven: Without worry.

Days like this, I roll over my bed after a two-hour-or-so afternoon sleep and think how blessed I am for such rare occurrences. Since Monday this week, I've never had the chance to sleep, play with my nephew, watch DVD series, browse the web, and laze around as often and as much as I'd like to. Yesterday and today are exceptions for reasons I do not wish to know. One of the premier hospitals in the region (and nation, if I may rightfully conclude) just hired me as its staff nurse. Of course, responsibilities come with the title. It also means less time for stuff I used to do without worry of time restriction.

I try to comfort myself that everything will work out just fine, for as long as I hold onto the passion that will keep me moving forward. Being a nurse is not the most amusing job, but it comes so close to the line of SELF-FULFILLMENT. It takes a lot of patience, dedication, and strong-will. You have to be firm enough to not cave in into the pressure of settling for complacency and worse, quitting. I tend to be complacent to the things I do especially when laziness gets the better off me. That's something I'm not proud of but I always fight the urge to be one. It may take time but I will get there and it's sure as hell not going to cost me my job. 

In line with my job, I also don't get why a number of people could be so apathetic or indifferent towards the plight of others. They, if not all, are usually the ones who deal with lives or people. How could a fellow nurse just stand there pretending deaf to the calls of woe of a patient? How could a doctor not lower his fees a notch for a patient who has basically nothing? How could a non-organization worker pocket the money reserved for marginal recipients? All these things and a whole lot others seriously bother me. I am not saying I am not guilty of this CRIME (Yes, it's a crime. How else do you classify this?!). Yet I'd like to thing I was rather than I am. With every single minute that passes by, I fight the urge to be one. I am so much blessed with more and too hoard it all to myself is pure selfishness and disgust.         

To make things light, I look forward to a lot of things, especially this weekend. And even if hospital orientation takes the biggest bulk of my time, that's something I'm grateful for. So hello to dinner with great college friends. :)

Eight: Cotton

I love taking pictures of the clouds wherever I may be. Below are shots I took from my room and just outside the balcony. God is the greatest artist!! :)

Look what we've got here!

I bet my life heaven is as lovely as this.

Such a pretty pretty sight!!! :">

Sweep. Swoon. Serene.

Dusk.

Six: Kung Hei Fat Choi, indeed.

Today has been very wonderful. A lot of beautiful things happened. 

First, a good news has arrived! I'm officially off the unemployment bandwagon. 

Second, my parents are coming for a visit over the weekend. Telephone calls won't suffice.

Third (and as always), my adorable and funny nephew tells me I'm his favorite tita. He says this in between favors of making him an apple shake and giving him his daily fix of chewy gummy bears. Ah, this is life! <3

Fourth, my best friend, Kimy, and our good friend Lap, will soon be employed as well. Wow! But wait, there's more.

Fifth, my Mama and I talked for two hours straight (of course, with TP). I wished it could have been longer. I find it refreshing and fun when I talk with my mom. She's my staunch supporter and friend. I tell her just about anything without fear of retribution or embarrassment.

Did the Chinese feng shui experts just tell me that my birth sign, the Rabbit, is unlucky? I can always turn my luck. And all these prove them otherwise.

Thank you Lord! I can always count on you. :)

Five: Just because he's adorable.

I love it when he makes this face! :"> 

Why hello there!

Oh, he's adorable, without even tying! :-D

With his tita Aina, who deliberately bribes him with gooey gummy bears to win his affection. She's good, hah! :p