Thirty-three: It's a beautiful day.

Today is a beautiful day! :) The sun is up and shining very brightly. :)

I just want to write down things that happened last night.

1. Yesterday, I have been pulled out from 4-B station (my original work of place) and reassigned to 5-A. I was kind of bummed out because I thought I was going to have a complicated patients' load. I didn't (during the early part of the shift) but still, it's different working at an area you've gotten used to. I did miss my coworkers whom I've worked with for the past weeks. Talk about separation anxiety.  HAHA :D

The very good thing about having been pulled out was I only got a maximum load of four and one admission. This was the icing on the cake because my coworkers from 4-B had twelve patients and two more admission. You could just imagine having to juggle your time among these FOURTEEN PATIENTS!! It's hard! And this is where mismanagement happened (in  MY sole point of view). Why would someone assign five nurses over a twenty-three census and then leave out three nurses to care for a thirty-six (or more) census? It's very silly when I think of it. No one had the right to complain BUT you would know how tiring it is for the latter nurses to actually care for their patients without leaving one or two uncared for. It made me really wonder.  Personally, I struggled to devote my time among eight patients (with a lot of nursing care in between: feeding, medications, suctioning, tracheostomy care, blood transfusion, etc). It's just so sad seeing my coworkers in that state, but they pulled through.

2. During the end part of my eight-hour shift, my patient became unresponsive. She wouldn't wake up even with the sound of our voices and heavy prodding. This is where the code nurses, resident doctors, and medical interns were paged and immediate actions were given. For a first-timer, it was a heart-racing (literally) and scary experience. At first, I didn't know what to do. I found myself standing in the corner, giving way to those who knew better and waiting for further instructions. Then the doctors started calling out the nurse-in-charge, and I was that person. I had to answer questions regarding my  patient care. I was asked to double check some equipments that were going to be used, as it took some time. I was then told to ambu-bag the patient and suctioned the secretions (oral and ETT), etc. I never left the patient for an hour or so. We were all exhausted. At past 10 in the evening, the patient's vital signs were stable, but still unresponsive.

When faced with this kind of station, it was easy to give in to panic. But this is the LEAST resort one is to choose. It gets the significant others of the patient worried. It gets the others wearisome and their minds clouded with doubt and fear. Thank God for those medically trained to face this kind of situation. The patient was in good hands. Of course, God was our ONLY teacher.

3. During the same night, a patient of my coworker died of cancer. She was still young to die. All of her immediate family members and a few relatives filled up the hallway. They were anxiously waiting for some good news or a miracle to save their loved one. She was on a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order. It was a personal choice of the patient before she died. This means to say no actions are to be given to save her from dying. It was a sad time for the bereaved family. I found her sister wailing out, crying hysterically over the phone. I wanted to comfort her, but I couldn't do so because no amount of words can comfort her.

I'd like to think that the good thing about the situation was that they already knew from the start that this is going to happen. Death is inevitable, especially so with cancer-stricken people. They already had an idea. It wasn't a sudden death (as compared with MVA or cardiac arrest). They must have had enough time to say or show how they feel. Of course, the death of any loved one is painful and it'll take some time to eventually accept  it.

4. It's good to take a time out from stress. I went to eat yogurt and some dessert with a good friend after work. Last night, we decided to skip talking about our patients' care. We just wanted to laugh, so we threw out silly jokes. We had the best time. It's nice to have this kind of friend (and it helps that you're both in the same kind of profession).

Thank You, Lord, for constantly being on our side. You are my fortress, my refuge, and my help!!! I couldn't  have made it through the day without You.