How I Make Myself Happy

I believe that happiness is a choice. If I truly want to be happy, I have to work hard (or not, since I am easily pleased) to be happy and strive even harder to maintain that positive attitude. Being happy means I know what to accept and which battle to fight and let go.

Here are some things I do in no particular order in order to achieve happiness:

1. Every morning, I make myself a hot cup of coffee with chocolate milk. I stare into the unknown for a few minutes and then gather my thoughts. I think of yesterday and come up with things to improve so I can make a better today. I always say a little prayer because there's just so many things to be thankful for.

2. I go for long drives or long leisure walks. I like going into unfamiliar towns and see what their life is like over there. I like walking no matter the season because it gives me a renewed perspective. Last year alone, I have visited more than 20 neighborhoods by foot. If I really like to see a particular place and it's far, we go for a drive, find a parking spot, and then start walking to commence adventure. :)

                         

3. I talk to my husband. Apart from my mother being my other half and human diary, Jan is also that same person to me. I can talk to him about anything-- my worries, aspirations in life, and mundane day to day stuff (events, ideas, etc). I value his ideas and greatly appreciate his constructive criticisms. He always shares his time, which is already divided among work, house, school and homework, cooking, etc. 

4. I write. I've always liked writing. I write about the littlest things. I've discovered it gives me joy to write about things that matter to me. I write not to please others, but to documents memories that would otherwise be gone in a flash. I write to remember. I write because I am happy when I do.

5. I watch my favorite YouTube videos. I watch What Would You Do?, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Kadenang Ginto (a Filipino drama series), etc. I also like watching flight and aviation clips, maybe because I secretly want to become an air traffic controller (and be so cool giving out pilot clearances for takeoff and landing, direct the movement of each and every vehicles on taxiways/runways, relay traffic information such as altitudes and courses, and ALL THINGS AH.MAY.ZEENG).

6. I love tidying up the house. Some people only do this when they have the time. As for me, I always make time. When I take the shower, I put in an extra five minutes to brush the tub and tiles. After my husband cooks and after I've washed all the dishes, I clean the stove top and kitchen counters. I make an effort to maintain the house clean. I love leaving the house clean and coming home to one. :)

7. I collect things that bring about little sparks of joy. I like buying colorful, dainty plates, cups and saucers, etc. My husband and I enjoy going to antique stores and marvel at the  beauty that is fine china. It's always sad that at the end of every visit, we can only bring home a few pieces because of money and space constraints. I also like buying scented candles. Not only are they therapeutic but they also make the room/entire house smell good. I like the scents of pine (Balsam Fir) and Gardenia. My husband's love for essential oils and scented wax cubes has definitely rubbed off on me. Every night, depending on his mood, he'd pour in some drops of Lavander or Chamomile oil into the diffuser to help him relax. This is also especially useful to help prevent or relieve chapped skin for dry winter days. I also leave the wax warmer on when we go out for work or errands. This makes the house smell good. And lastly on this number, I like having some flowers and plants in the house. I do not mind spending some dollars on plants. I like some greens scattered around the house.
                              

                                

                                
                                
                                          

8. I talk to my family and friends from back home. Home is where the heart is, and I couldn't agree more. Philippines will always be home for me, as much as Canada is now. One of the most difficult things about my moving away is leaving my dear nephews behind. They are a BIG part of my life. I like calling them because they are sorely missed.

                        

And with that, I will leave you with my favorite quote.

Always choose to be happy. :)

My Mother, My Love

Last night was yet the most difficult night for me since the death of my mother. I wasn't able to have enough rest as memories of her pain and suffering came into thoughts. I remembered the many phone/video calls we had, and the several occasions that she would downplay the pain, or worst pretend there wasn't any pain. She was very bubbly and talkative. Looking back, I wish I talked more, shared more, called more often. I know I've made her feel my love and support despite the distance, but there's something I wish I could have done more. 

My mother succumbed to lung cancer last November 2019. That fateful dawn she took her final breath, we were all sleeping. I was beside her, completely unaware it would be her last. When we found out, I was not surprised because I knew it was coming. The way she did it was so much like her--- unfussy, uncomplicated, and quiet. I knew she didn't want any drama, and so she did it at the time we were all resting from a long week before.

Today, I look back at the laughs and conversations we've shared together. Along with my other sisters, we shared a bond so unique that I understand and respect her silence. I knew when to stop talking and listen. I knew so much that she wanted to live longer to see her grandchildren succeed in life. She wanted to crush cancer.

I've never dreamt of my mother since her death, and everyday I wish she would visit me in my sleep and let me feel her love. This longing will always linger.

Our 2019 USA Trip

We've been wanting to visit the U.S. to see Jan's family, especially his mother and sister. We're incredibly grateful that his family took the time to show us around the city. It's fun being tourists!

We spent the first week in California (SFO and LA) and the second week in the state of Nevada (Reno and Las Vegas).

bacon dog carts from Mexican vendors in Fisherman's wharf

Starbucks in Yosemite wall mural

Tokyo town, LA

Half Dome and El Cap behind them, rock formations in Yosemite National Park

I am so in love with the crystal clear waters in South Lake Tahoe

with my aunt, who has been living in Las Vegas since her early 20's

The Grove in LA

Lombard Street in San Francisco, claimed to be the most crooked street in the world

before watching our Miss Saigon play, with mostly Filipino theater artists

one of the scenic views en route to Reno, Nevada

pretty displays in one of the vineyard stores in Napa Valley

with my HS classmates, now based in the US

with my cute SIL, Mikayla

posing in front of these beautiful stores in Virginia City, Nevada, the internationally famous mining district

with Jan's maternal side of the family