Yesterday, during work, some coworkers invited me to come with them to the beach. Of course, I was kind of hesitant because it was a last-minute invitation. But, this plan has been brewing in the station for weeks then. While they had their bags ready, I didn't bring any clothes and slippers with me. My friends were really bugging me to go but the distance of our house from the hospital, which was originally the main point to the resort, was a little too far for a HOT afternoon drive.

Thirty minutes before the shift ends, everyone who was to go was already at the station. That's when more prodding happened. I gave in and boy was I excited! I didn't mind driving to the house to get my stuff. They were really kind for waiting for me (well not so, because they had to eat as they were hungry).

Now, we're all set. It was a really sunny day and we were inside the car with good music and nice company. We kept on laughing at some silly jokes. A lot of intriguing and shocking stories were told. We had A LOT of stops before we reached the place. 

When we were already there, lo and behold, the place was breathtaking! It was very picturesque, pretty much like a scene from a postcard that you'd think it wasn't for real. Everyone was amazed! We marveled at the beauty right before us. Our friend, whose family owns the resort, was very blessed to have this for a retreat place.

I call this 'silver lining'

I kept looking at the clouds every now and then.

 

Caution: DO NOT BE DECEIVED!! This pool is 8 or more feet deep! Scary!

The storyteller, Shaun :D

LET THE FUN TIMES ROLLING!!! Thanks for the good time, friends!! :)

For the last six days, since Palm Sunday, I have had the chance to spend my time in solitude and reflection. I don't really get to do this because I am tied up with work  BUT there's absolutely NO reason to not be able to reconnect with Jesus' as He goes through His journey of pain, suffering, and resurrection.

Early today, I went to do the Station of the Cross with my sister and friends. It was an experience that brought back so much memories of anguish. I have been very undeserving of Jesus's love. I say that with passion because it's true and I could not understand how someone of divine and human existence would want to put His life in the line to give me a chance to live a life of renewed faith and beautiful beginning.

With each prayer I said, I always picture Christ drenched in blood, with tattered garments while trying to make His way onto a rude and mocking crowd. Mother Mary and a few of His loyal supporters and friends were there and they could not even do anything to save Christ from His pitiful state. I felt really really bad. No words can ever describe the feeling I had then.

It will take a long time and a huge amount of constant effort and dedication to get where the saints are. I will have to ALWAYS say no to temptations, sometimes presenting themselves in gold or red ribbon, that lurk around the corner. It's scary how everyone is vulnerable! :/

This Holy Week, I am sure that everyone would like to have their weary faith revived. And as Easter Sunday approaches, I am assured that TIME AND AGAIN, I am, despite my sins and transgressions, worthy of Jesus's love.

THANK YOU, LORD, FOR GIVING US YOUR ONLY BEGOTTEN SON!!! :)

"For everything there is a season, and a time for very purpose under heaven: 

a time to be born, and a time to die;

 a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 

a time to kill, and a time to heal;

 a time to break down, and a time to build up; 

a time to weep, and a time to laugh; 

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; 

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 

a time to seek, and a time to lose;

 a time to keep, and a time to cast away; 

a time to rend, and a time to sew; 

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 

a time to love, and a time to hate;

 a time for war and a time for peace."
--Ecclesiastes 3:2

I just have to rant, to let these out in my system! :( So, I just called our department's local number and I found out I am to report for my 12-hour duty tonight, this after going on duty on the same day. :(

A five-or-six-hours of sleep WON'T SUFFICE!! Clearly, it doesn't! Who goes to work like this?! Me, that's for sure. I get it, we are understaffed, which is exactly the number one reason why the hospital should hire more nurses so rest won't  get in the line of those who are SUPPOSED to have one.

This isn't really about the pay I'm going to get (that being the positive note of the issue, as what my friends say), because that doesn't really compensate. We can never have our rest days back, can we? And sleep is really precious, ergo, the most BASIC and FUNDAMENTAL thing in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

I just really hope that heaven will look upon me with mercy and give me an uncomplicated patients' load because that will really help.

I have been a busy working girl!! :( My lack of writing is an evidence. I wanted to do a lot of things, mostly read and write. I would love to travel, too (but that is far-fetched, seeing as I am swamped with work).

I have a love-hate relationship with my profession. One day, I find myself inspired to go to work; next, I'm drained, irked, and almost wanting to give up. THIS IS MY CONSTANT BATTLE. I fight the latter with all the strength I have reserved for times like these.

My work is tiring, add to the fact that it doesn't even pay good; but I CANNOT DENY that there's something fulfilling and passionate about it that you would want to pay forward the feeling. If I find myself heaving a heavy sigh, I look at my patients and think, "How could they still feel happy despite being in the hospital?" and then I stop drowning in misery, because really, it's just a matter of perspective.

So tonight, before sleep consumes me, I remember the things I have done: Were they any good? Or were they mediocre? Did I contribute to my patient's health improvement? Did I just do things for the sake of getting them accomplished?

Heavens, these haunt me! Like happiness, I also cannot suppress the dictates of my conscience! I find myself lost amongst the throes of questions. The least I want my patients/clients to remember (when I see them walking outside the huge hospital) is that I was just WORKING, not really giving my all. That's pathetic, let's face it! :/

So today, I'd like to say I did good. Because I have standards set for MYSELF and I was able  to go beyond them, I would say I did good. Because I was armed with a pocketful of prayers and a sunshine of hope, I would say I did good. And it also matters to me that my patients and their significant others trust me. One wouldn't go about telling me of his affair with a girl, 30 years his junior. I would say that's trust. And when I left their rooms, I was given the WARMEST OF SMILES.  Now, those are HUGE treats!  :)