I've been telling myself for months now that I was in love. At least, it felt that way to me. I felt so inspired to go to work. It seemed life was lovelier and more colorful. It sounds cliche, but it's true. I've always seen myself daydreaming about him-- that someday, we might actually end up together. It felt like a nice dream that I didn't want to wake up. I had to pinch myself several times to remind me that things and feelings change. And that happened today. As I was driving home, I stopped and thought of the day that has transpired. I had a very serious crush at somebody, so serious it was alarming and disconcerting me in all the wrong places. I send my best friend and a few other very close friends text messages of how madly in love I was.
I fell for the wrong person. I fell for the wrong person at a wrong time, now this is even more honest. He is in a relationship and happily in love with the same girl for years now. How could I ever hit on somebody who's in a relationship? How could I ever like him? How could I still even think of being with him? I was insane and no reason could ever justify the feelings I've had for him. Maybe because he's one of the good things that has happened to me in a long time. Maybe because I thought there was something with the way he stared at me-- sincere and caring. Maybe I gave an altogether different meaning with the times he's held my hand after exchanges of silly jokes and banters or with the times he'd wait for me because I had to finish up some things or with the times we'd have our meals together.
You see, even before I found myself falling for him, we were friends. I became a little too comfortable in his presence. I'd look forward to seeing him, and if that doesn't happen, I will myself to dream about him.
Then it hit me, I don't think I could ever sacrifice our friendship or put it on the line. He's in a relationship. I had to distance myself and know my limits. I should know when enough is enough. Early today, while we were talking about something funny, he excused himself to answer a text from his girl. And, that didn't hurt me. Not at all. I surprised myself there. Was it for real? I'd say yes. Our friendship is more important. His happiness is my happiness and I say that with sincerity. I am pretty much contented with the times we are together at work.
It would be an insult to my morale to continue to flirt with him. It's about time I stop before any of my actions result to any repercussion I know I will regret.
--
Dear Him,
You are one of the greatest things that has EVER happened to me. Thank you for being a friend. You've taught me that sometimes, it is OK to let my guard down. I can be myself when I'm with you, and although you tease me mercilessly, I enjoy it because then we exchange the loudest laugh. This isn't a sad ending because our friendship is a treasure in itself.
Take care and see you around. :)
I fell for the wrong person. I fell for the wrong person at a wrong time, now this is even more honest. He is in a relationship and happily in love with the same girl for years now. How could I ever hit on somebody who's in a relationship? How could I ever like him? How could I still even think of being with him? I was insane and no reason could ever justify the feelings I've had for him. Maybe because he's one of the good things that has happened to me in a long time. Maybe because I thought there was something with the way he stared at me-- sincere and caring. Maybe I gave an altogether different meaning with the times he's held my hand after exchanges of silly jokes and banters or with the times he'd wait for me because I had to finish up some things or with the times we'd have our meals together.
You see, even before I found myself falling for him, we were friends. I became a little too comfortable in his presence. I'd look forward to seeing him, and if that doesn't happen, I will myself to dream about him.
Then it hit me, I don't think I could ever sacrifice our friendship or put it on the line. He's in a relationship. I had to distance myself and know my limits. I should know when enough is enough. Early today, while we were talking about something funny, he excused himself to answer a text from his girl. And, that didn't hurt me. Not at all. I surprised myself there. Was it for real? I'd say yes. Our friendship is more important. His happiness is my happiness and I say that with sincerity. I am pretty much contented with the times we are together at work.
It would be an insult to my morale to continue to flirt with him. It's about time I stop before any of my actions result to any repercussion I know I will regret.
--
Dear Him,
You are one of the greatest things that has EVER happened to me. Thank you for being a friend. You've taught me that sometimes, it is OK to let my guard down. I can be myself when I'm with you, and although you tease me mercilessly, I enjoy it because then we exchange the loudest laugh. This isn't a sad ending because our friendship is a treasure in itself.
Take care and see you around. :)
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