Dear Me at 15 (or 16),
You're probably sitting in class waiting for the first period to start. You grumble about having to wake up extra early because it's a Monday and attendance in the bi-weekly flag ceremony is a must (and because you don't want your name said out loud for everyone to hear).
You cram at almost everything-- homework, examinations, class recital, Algebra/Physics/Practical Arts-- for fear of failing, because you want your name listed in the Honors' List.
Apart from a little training in Taekwondo, Volleyball, and Track-and-Field, you didn't join enough sports because you've always thought you were too thin. You were also too engrossed with your studies.
After some time of hanging out with your classmates, you've slightly neglected your studies.Then the vicious cycle of wanting to always excel sets in again. It would've put into a compromise your social life.
You had the many chance of leading a group or the class and you were a little mean. You shouted and had everything rewritten or retaken because it didn't quite reach your expectations. You had the boys punished by making them come extra early the next day despite the late dismissal after a hard day's practice.
You stayed at the back of the car making silly faces behind your Lola's back because you were reprimanded for being rowdy and naughty. Then you complained and made up stuff to get your Ma at your side, as if misbehaving wasn't bad enough.
I would tell you that there's MORE to life than all those. You should have known, but perhaps you were a hopelessly clueless and sometimes ignorant youth back then. You probably thought those were the only things that matter.
I would tell you:
1. Breathe. Relax. Stop worrying because it doesn't solve anything. Yours was a problem so little compared to those in their 20s, 30s or 40s-- everyone who's struggling to make a living to support a family of 5 or 9.
2. Your academic grade doesn't define you. Join some more sports. And dressing so shabbily then wasn't a crime. Everyone lacked some sense of fashion. You will get by.
3. Don't ever bash your Mama for pushing/forcing you to take the Art/Ballet class every weekend. Look at yourself now-- wishing you listened and practiced more. Your parents have gone through great lengths to give you the life you had then and now.
4. It's OK for that one guy in your class to know that you've liked him for four years or so. It gave you the butterfly feeling in your stomach when you had that dance on your Senior Prom.
5. The friends you've made in high school are the friends you'll eternally keep because they practically know all the silliest and strangest things you did.
6. Don't be ever afraid to fail because it'll toughen you up. When you commit a mistake, say your sincerest apology and ask for help.
8. Practice what you preach. When you say, 8 AM sharp, be there fifteen minutes before the time.
9. Go on, have that green mango dipped in soy sauce and salt that the vendor outside your school sells.Sit and lie by the green grass in the school's big field. Hold hands and share stories with your friends. Do not be in a hurry-- that T.V. show can wait. It's the little things in life that are free and tangible (like the small, stupid conversation you have over the phone or the funny notes you pass around in class while the teacher isn't looking or the secret glances you give when you thought that cute guy wasn't looking) that count.
10. Respect the elders. They're wiser and they know better.
You were wonderful once and still are. Don't look back with bitterness and regret for life is an experience meant to be lived.
Love,
Me at 24
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