One-hundredth: Honor

Today, before leaving the hospital, I had to learn the importance of keeping a promise; and that to always do good with the words you say no matter what. My patient, who has just recently lost his wife in a fatal plane crash, had to be the one to remind me that you just don't commit something to someone without the intention of fulfilling it. In the middle of our interesting conversation about grieving, loss, hope, acceptance, and faith, I had to excuse myself for a while because I had to attend to my other patients. I told him I will be back as soon as I can. The moment I told these words, he instantly lit up. Little did I know, I will be gone for a long while because something came up. When I went back to his room, his lights were on and the bed was unmade but no sign of him. I waited for a few minutes knowing he'd be back anytime soon. Seeing as I'm again running out of time to wait, I gave up. Hours went by and I forgot about the talk we were to have. To make the long story short, he called out my name and like the dear old man that he was, he scolded me for not keeping my promise. To say he was up all night waiting for me was understatement. And I've never felt so bad in a long while. I could have eased his frustrations in life had I only made good with my words. I could have listened to his worries, one of which is that his son lies in a critical situation in the I.C.U. He could use a friend right that moment and I could have been one. I feel so awful. I hate myself. :(